Mostly I’ve relied on current events to inform these blog posts—birthdays, death days, out-of-town trips and inner contemplations. Today is my dear friend John’s birthday, and no Year of the Child would be complete without a deep and appreciative look in his direction.

I met John in 1976 when he arrived on the west coast with my sister Nancy. The two of them met in Toronto and fell in love.  John was fixing up his VW van in preparation for an extended trip to Mexico. It only made sense that Nancy join him on his travels.

John and I remained friends after he and Nan split up. We saw each other through many relationships and it was John I turned to in 2006 when I needed help fetching my belongings from Bamfield.

I’d gone to stay in Bamfield earlier that year. The cozy basement suite I’d been renting in Vancouver was being reclaimed by the owners—and my spirit was longing for more space, more nature and more community. My intention was to finally make a move back to the Island. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way and I ended up back in Vancouver, having left most of my things behind. John kindly agreed to come along to help me retrieve them.

We set off for Bamfield in my rental truck at about this same time of year. I remember missing the turnoff to Port Alberni and driving at least a half-hour towards Courtenay before realizing my error. I was mortified and angry at myself. John was gentle and kind. “No big deal, don’t worry. We’ll get there.”

The week we spent in Bamfield was totally surreal. Not only was I saying goodbye to a place I loved dearly (I was born in the house next door, when it was still the Bamfield Outpost Hospital), but I was also in a serious rupture with my siblings that I found confusing and alarming.

One by one I got the boxes ready and John wheeled them down to the dock on the ‘freighter’—a flat-bottom wooden wheelbarrow my Uncle Johnny made many years before. John’s steady presence helped balance out my instability. He was, after all, family of sorts.

John wasn’t in great shape either. His relationship had ended not long before and he was suffering the loss of his house, his health, his career and his love. Our mutual disarray was not what one would call the basis of a rock-solid partnership, but it has stood the test of time.

I convinced John that getting a house together was a good idea and posted an ad on a local listserv. A few days later, DJ and Richard submitted their rental ad for a house on Ringwood to the local newspaper.  The woman at the newspaper saw my post from the listserv and their ad to be published, and put the three of us together before the paper went to print. It was clearly meant to be.

It was love at first sight. Everything about the house felt right, even though it needed some significant work. Richard and DJ agreed to a bathroom reno right off the bat, and at the end of that first month said that anything we were willing to do that would improve the value of the house, they were up for it.

Over the next seven months I acted as the general contractor, relying on John’s unerring eye for beauty to lead the way. We donated our time and lived rent free while renovations were underway.  At the end of each month I would submit an itemized invoice for what we’d spent, sometimes holding my breath until I heard back. A response always came promptly, though. It was truly an act of trust on all our parts.

Our start on Ringwood Avenue may have been lumpy but what we’ve accomplished here is rare indeed. Despite painful projections and the odd cataclysmic episode, we have hung in with each other. John’s beautiful piano playing and culinary masterpieces have accompanied us along the way and the healing work that has been done under this roof—ours and other people’s—is something we’re both proud of.

This combination of intensity and support has helped forge us into becoming our more authentic, grown-up selves. And with this maturity comes a readiness to step more fully into “the world beyond Ringwood.”

I feel nature calling again, but I don’t want to lose what we have here. John modeled that very clearly when he joined his Dad in Ottawa for a spell. “I’m not moving to Ottawa”, he said, “I’m expanding to Ottawa.”

Is there an expansion in your life that you are feeling called to embrace? Let me know, I’d love to hear!