Publishing this weekly blog brings back memories of my Integral Coaching training. The method they teach is a blend of ‘rigor and intuition,’ an elegant but demanding combo that had me regularly feeling anxious, especially when writing assignments were due. As each deadline drew closer my fear as being seen as subpar would start rising, taking with it any access to my intuition or help from the cosmos or beyond. It felt like a toxic entity had permeated my body, with intermittent jolts of hot, sickening shame. The training was higher stakes than this blog (it was school, after all…) but the felt sense is familiar and clearly started long ago.

Pat Dobie, my dear friend and advisor, gave me a coaching session on Sunday. She’s a writer and an editor, with lots of projects on the go at one time. Staying present to where she is in the flow of each one is essential and she is innately good at creating systems that allow her to track progress and function in a more optimal way.

Her first question was around my current process. What do you do first, second, and third, and how long does each step take? During our time together I came to more fully understand that although I intuitively know what needs to happen next, I rarely rely on systems outside of myself for tracking. It’s a part of me that is, quite simply, undeveloped.

My homework from Pat was aimed at externalizing my process so that I have a better sense of where I’m at, what’s next, and how long each step takes. It is in service of relieving at least some of the lurking anxiety, rooted partly in the unseen—and thus scary—unknown.

It’s fascinating, because part of my experiment is to see if we are better when we’re watched. Pat is watching me and can see all the coping strategies I’ve put in place to manage in a grown-up world. They are pretty sophisticated in some ways, but that’s the problem with workarounds—they were developed long ago and take more work to achieve than is necessary.

Similarly, Chad, my tech guru, is suggesting that I write in Google Docs instead of Microsoft Word. This would allow me to cut and paste the text directly into my website without having to do the workaround of eliminating all the weird formatting stuff that comes with doing it in Word.  It begs the question, how many things am I doing in my life in an outmoded and inefficient way?

It’s kind of shocking, really. I’m not talking life hacks here. These are straightforward, methodical methods of doing things that make my life simpler and less stressful. And simpler and less stressful is a seriously worthwhile endeavour in my world! Pat suggested a book by Twyla Tharp called The Creative Habit. I’ve  just started it but I’m already intrigued by her description of, and reliance on, rituals.

And really, there are other things that I want to get up to this year. The Community to Live and Die In initiative is never far from my thoughts and I’m keen to begin writing content for that website in the coming weeks. I want to travel, learn, play, and explore, and all these things need to fit into my life along with this commitment to my weekly blog. So I am an eager pupil in the world of systems, in service of a freer life.

Is there an area in your life where systems (or rituals!) could be implemented that support more creativity and freedom?  Let me know, I’d love to hear!